Parents, siblings, and grown children across the Midwest ask us some version of one question: "I can see they are not okay, and nothing they have tried is working. What can I actually do?" The honest answer starts with an uncomfortable finding. For most people, the voice that matters most in choosing a new depression treatment is not family. It is their doctor. This FAQ explains what that means for you, and why your role is still real.
The survey figures here come from a June poll our publisher commissioned, answered by 443 adults in ten Midwest states. Everyone who answered was part of a general-population sample, not a panel of family members, so the numbers are whole-sample results. They are final and validated.
Does my opinion matter at all?
Yes, and the data show it. Respondents ranked a close friend or relative second, at 18 percent, when asked who could get them to try ketamine or esketamine. That is behind the person's own doctor at 74 percent, but well ahead of anyone else. An ad managed 2 percent, a podcast host 1 percent, and online veterans and first responders 4 percent. Families of veterans and first responders, 156 respondents counting spouses, parents and other relatives, gave the doctor 73 percent.
Your voice outweighs any marketing; it works best pointed toward a doctor rather than a drug.
Why would a doctor carry four times the weight of family?
The survey did not ask people to explain, so this is interpretation. Doctors combine medical knowledge with a kind of neutrality family members cannot offer. When a physician says "this might be worth trying," it reads as a clinical judgment. When a parent says the same thing, it can land as worry or pressure, even when it is neither.
What is the most useful thing I can do?
Help them get a good appointment with good information. In practice:
- Encourage a visit specifically about mood, not squeezed into another appointment.
- Help them list each antidepressant, its dose, the length of the trial, and the result.
- Offer to book the visit, drive them, or wait in the lobby.
- Ask whether they would like you in the room.
What if they do not have a doctor?
That is common, and it is often the first real obstacle. Start with their insurance. Commercial plans and Medicaid managed care plans have member lines that can list primary care doctors accepting new patients. If they have no insurance, community health and mental health centers around the region often charge on a sliding scale.
The survey suggests this matters. Their primary doctor would be the opening move for 56 percent of respondents. Yet one in twenty, 5 percent, confessed they would be lost at the starting line. Should your loved one be one of them, helping them find the first door may be the biggest contribution you can make.
Should I send them articles about newer treatments?
Gently, if at all. Most people have not heard of these options. Asked about Spravato, 73 percent of respondents drew a blank, and a scant 6 percent could explain it. An unfamiliar brand name from a worried relative can feel like a push. Something like "I read there may be more options when medication does not work. Might be worth asking your doctor" leaves room for them to own the next step.
What exactly is Spravato?
Spravato is a nasal spray whose active drug is esketamine. Its FDA approval covers adults with treatment-resistant depression and, in combination with an oral antidepressant, adults whose major depression includes acute suicidal ideas or actions. Its label covers neither PTSD nor anyone younger than 18. Every dose is given in a certified clinic and followed by monitoring, and the patient must leave the driving to someone else until the next day.
Some clinics use IV ketamine off-label, and telehealth firms prescribe ketamine for home use, also off-label and far less supervised; neither is the same as Spravato. Brain Recovery Centers keeps a plain-language Spravato page for families who want the details.
Can I talk to their doctor?
If your loved one is an adult, the doctor generally cannot share medical details with you unless they sign an authorization. But you can share information with the doctor. A short, factual message about changes you have noticed can help the doctor see the full picture. If you have immediate safety concerns, say so clearly.
Esketamine is not an option for minors in any case.
What do people type when they are looking for help?
Not drug names. The survey asked what words people would search, and 319 people answered with symptoms and requests: "how to help someone with depression," "help with mental health," "best ways to handle depression," "depressed." If you are searching on their behalf, those are the phrases real people use, and they are a fine place to start.
Do most people react badly to the idea of ketamine-based treatment?
No. Hostility was rare. The largest reaction, at 34 percent, was cautious openness. Skepticism came next at 21 percent, then hope or curiosity and plain unfamiliarity at 18 percent each. Outright negativity was the smallest group, 9 percent. Your loved one is more likely to be uncertain than opposed, and uncertainty is usually best addressed by a clinician answering questions.
What about cost?
Coverage dominates decisions. When picking a provider, 85 percent of survey respondents counted insurance coverage among their two biggest concerns. Esketamine is often covered with prior authorization. IV and at-home ketamine usually are not. If your loved one is on your plan, you can call and ask.
Is any of this a substitute for a clinician?
No. It is background for families. Any treatment can fail for a given person, and the right choice depends on a clinician's evaluation.
If the person you love has talked about wanting to die, or a bad feeling about their safety will not leave you, call or text 988 now for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Its counselors hear from worried relatives every day. Anyone in immediate danger needs 911.
Methodology
Our publisher commissioned and paid for the underlying survey. Pollfish ran it through its consumer panel; the window shut June 23, 2026, at n=443 adults aged 18 to 64 from Nebraska, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Missouri, Kansas, and Oklahoma. Family members in general were not studied as a separate group; results are final, taken from the validated export.